Could haves, should haves, would haves

I have come to realize that these 3 words or phrases (could'ves, should'ves, would'ves) are what blocks feelings of gratitude and ultimately my happiness.  I have spent so much of my life in my  head, analyzing what I or someone else should have done differently; thinking about what could have happened if I had done something differently;  thinking about what would or could happen in the future if I did this or that.  All this head stuff takes me away from the enjoyment of the  present moment. All this thinking about the past, and how it could have been different means I am passing a judgement, and a negative one, about the reality of the past.  And what does this serve?  It sows seeds of discontent, of wishing things were otherwise...certainly not seeds of gratitude.   As Byron Katie in "Loving What Is"  states: "These are only thoughts that we impose onto reality".  She later goes on to state: "And I came to embrace  reality with all my  heart.  I love the world, without any conditions."

My teacher once said that every experience we have had, was necessary to bring us to where we are now, in the present moment. My task now is to stop the  "could'ves, should'ves, would'ves", to get out of my head and appreciate the present moment  and the rich experience that it  brings - to celebrate the joyous moments and to accept and allow the unfolding of those that may be painful.  This is reality - nothing I can do in my head can change what has transpired...all it can do is make me miserable and ungrateful for all that is.

In gratitude for the beauty of the present moment,
Marg